The thief of joy! Former President Theodore Roosevelt couldn’t have quoted this any better. Comparison certainly is a thief of joy! The most threatening thing a person could ever do to themselves is compare. And why do we compare? Can it be because of insecurities? Perhaps you wrestle with jealousy? Maybe it’s a way to determine where you are in life or even needing some self-assurance. Whatever it is, it’s still unhealthy! Look, we live in a world today that pretty much forces us to compare ourselves through measures that are so unrealistic. Things such as television, interactions with people, or entertaining media garbage can ultimately set you up. Now, don’t get me wrong. To some degree it is normal to compare. For instance, you can compare when you need to make a purchase. You compare your fruits to determine if they’re ripe. You even compare to decide if you’re getting a better bargain. Obviously, these are the types of comparisons that are typically needed and serves a purpose. However, what happens when you become too fixated or almost obsessed with comparing every aspect of your life to someone else’s? Well, my friend, you have entered a very dangerous zone! If you are constantly comparing your life to that of others, you’ve potentially set yourself up for failure! The big picture is, comparing seems more detrimental than beneficial.
Hey, I’ve been guilty of it! You’ve been guilty of it! We all have been guilty of it! I can recollect a time in my life when all I did was compare myself to my peers. For me it was a way to gauge where I was in contrast to where my peers were. Many times I felt like I was falling far behind when it came to reaching important milestones in life. For instance, I remember when most of my friends had attained there driver’s license by the age of 17 in High School, meanwhile I was still riding the city bus and school bus. I felt so left behind and even embarrassed because I didn’t get my license until I was 22 years old. I also remember the days when I was single with absolutely no prospects. I battled fears of growing old and alone. To me it seemed like everyone around me were either dating or getting married. Yep, I was comparing! Ultimately, these comparisons led me to feel inferior. In my mind I thought surely I must catch up with everyone else. Consequently my poor mindset and way of thinking led me to feel like I didn’t belong. It really came from a place of not having a full understanding of who I was as an individual.
I remember when I finally decided to go public with my blogging website. I was a little nervous and shy about putting myself out there. Moreover, I was very apprehensive to share my blogging posts with my friends because I was comparing myself to other bloggers and I assumed that my friends would do the same. I convinced myself “I don’t write like this person…My page isn’t as nice as this one”, or etc. I had to remove those thoughts quickly. As random as it may seem, my thoughts could have led me to not go forth with launching my website. These types of comparison tends to cause you to stifle your untapped potentials. I was yielding and training my thoughts to enclose myself into a box, and guess what? Some of you do the same thing! As talented and gifted each of us are, somehow we still question our greatness and abilities by comparing ourselves to others. When we respond in that manner, we limit ourselves. Learning to embrace what makes us unique and stand out is the key to help us overcome this notion that’s causing us to set up unrealistic expectations we’ve placed upon ourselves. For some it seems unintentional and subconscious. For others in more serious cases, it tends to be a deeply rooted issue that needs to be addressed. Life is already challenging. I get it! We all want to be accepted, loved by others, or feel a sense of progression in life. The last thing you want to do is add unnecessary burdens upon yourself by adding ideas and thoughts because of comparing yourself.
I can’t stress this enough. God created us uniquely. He was very intentional about our make up, talents, and gifts. That’s why our personalities are so different. It makes a lot of sense. Can you imagine if we were all alike? Ugh! How boring would our World be!? Still, with that all said we still compare. So many of us get caught up in other people’s warped thoughts of what you perceive to be a perfect and great life. Comparisons can be dangerous. From weight, to skin complexions, material possessions, your personal styles, what you think is a normal or not, “Am I pretty” or “Am I ugly”, etc, it just never ends. Not one person on Earth is the same…not even identical twins! We were all uniquely designed and equipped with our own individual gifts and talents. What begins to happen when you compare yourself is you eventually set up unrealistic measures that is inaccurate and close to impossible to meet. As a result, you become frustrated with yourself and start to develop these ideas in your mind that who you are is wrong, maybe off, a big mistake, or don’t belong to anyone or anywhere. Therefore you begin to conform to these false ideas and stifle yourself from fully maturing. In worst case scenarios, these frustrations can often lead to depression, rebellion, anger, self-esteem issues, and even entertaining thoughts of suicide because you are so convinced that you’re not as good as this person you’ve compared yourself to.
Consider this, how can a parakeet bark like a dog? How can a fish run swiftly like a Puma, or how can grasshopper move stealthy as if it were a lion seeking out its prey? Neither can do it, not on the basis of ability but on the basis of them being uniquely different. I mean, surely it’s possible for a parakeet to imitate a dog or maybe there’s a chance that a fish can swim as fast as a Puma can run, these are all possibilities. However, it would take a great deal of energy to be or imitate something you’re not. So why not accept yourself as you are and don’t compare? Embrace you. Love you. Accept you and stop comparing.
