OBTAINING GODLY RELATIONSHIPS

One morning I could hear the voice of God speaking to me. Just the night before, I was contemplative on what my first blog entry should be about for the launching of my website. I had several topics to choose from considering that I’d pre-written at least ten or more entries prior to. However, after skimming through some choices, nothing seemed to stand out to me. Personally in my opinion, none of the other topics I’d already written seemed suited enough to be considered as the first entry piece for my blog page. As always, I started to get frustrated with my indecisive ways. After thinking it through, I thought perhaps I should write something about myself or maybe write to explain exactly what Blessed and Chic Blogging website serves as. However, it just wasn’t clicking for me. My frustration grew even more. I couldn’t fully decide on which topic to choose from. With it still on my mind I decided to sleep on it. The next morning, I woke up and out of no where these random thoughts started pouring into my mind. I grabbed my iPhone to type into my notes app hoping to not miss anything pertinent. I felt like this was God’s way of helping me out. Lord knows, I’m usually bad with remembering certain details. After I read through my notes,  I did wrestle with deciding if I should even choose this topic as my first blog entry. My thoughts were, “shouldn’t I write something about fashion?”. After all, isn’t this supposed to be a fashion blog? Then, I was quickly reminded that my blogging website is more than just discussions of fashion. It’s about various things in life that people need to know or should be informed about. After readjusting my thinking, I compiled and organized everything I was feeling into a writing piece for you to read. While this is not your typical “first” fashion blog entry, I really believe that I needed to discuss this and offer my perspectives. So, without further ado, here’s to my very first blog entry…

Obtaining Godly Relationships.
“Goals”! Have you ever scrolled on your Instagram or Facebook news feed and see the cutest couple ever? Or maybe you’ve seen your favorite celebrity couples all booed up after uploading their selfies with their followers gloating over how adorable they are and inspiring to be like them by leaving comments such as “relationship goals”? Okay, now I know you’ve seen this one before! That whole “no-new-friends” movement, where so called inseparable friends swear up-and-down that they are each other’s ride-or-dies until their friendship actually end up dying off. Well, I don’t know about you, but I have most definitely seen it as I scroll through my newsfeed. Now, before you get all worked up and call me judgmental. I must first say that I find absolutely nothing wrong with admiring, modeling, or aspiring to attain certain dating, marital, or platonic relationships as seen on social media or anywhere else for that matter. However, let’s dig a little deeper into this. Truth is, social media or the media in general has provided us with a platform that can be a bit misleading or often times deceptive. While admiring particular relationships isn’t wrong per say, you must question what or who’s foundation these relationships you are admiring or exalting are  standing on?

Relationships can be defined as either social, emotional, or a romantic connection with another person. And of course relationships differ from person to person. Whether it’s romantic or platonic, obtaining genuine relationships can be challenging. Realistically relationships are important and needed. It’s apart of that innate human-to-human connection we need to thrive as human beings. It was and is purposefully designed. I don’t believe as humans we were created to be alone or live a recluse life. Every single relationship serves a purpose greater than what we can understand. That’s why it’s so important to know the people you are allowing to enter your lives on a deeper level. Often times social media feeds us with these false perceptions of relationships. It almost always focus on the what we perceive to be an ideal or perfected relationship on the outside, when the truth is it’s all jacked up but yet we claim these relationships as our “goals”. We have to know that we are just merely bystanders observing a facade. By no means am I suggesting that social media is solely the blame. Frankly, it’s partly our responsibility to filter out what we allow ourselves to be opened to. Naturally, we don’t investigate any further nor do we even question it. We just admire certain things and then begin to exalt it. We are visual creatures. If it looks good to us, then it must be good! Right? Well, I beg to differ. In most cases that’s not quite the situation.

I recently saw an Instagram post of a young celebrity male who’s in a dating relationship. Confessedly, it seems all good. He and his girlfriend look so perfect together. Such a beautiful couple. However there’s one minor detail…He’s actually in a relationship with two woman. Yes, two! Interestingly enough, his followers are fully aware of his relationship statuses and evidently unbothered by it. Based on the numbers of likes he receives from his pictures posted, it’s evident that his followers accepts it. His reality is overlooked and placed in a misconstrued perception. While I’m not the one to judge on this matter, I can only speak on what he’s put out there for the world to see; I can’t help but to think that this type of behavior is dangerous and misleading. Young people can easily be swayed and influenced to believe that dysfunctional relationships are the norm. The same can be said for married couples. It’s unfortunate because it looks great to us, but c’mon these relationships are standing on shaky and unstable foundations. Yet these are the very types of relationships we exalt and deem good. 

On the flip side of relationships we have what we call platonic friends. These are friendships that are non-romantic, seasonal or long lasting. Most of us hold these friendships closely to our hearts by creating special moments. Thanks to social media, we can now share these moments with the world. Many people share their love for their friends publicly and there’s nothing wrong that at all. It may be the reason why the “no new friends” movement even began. (Personally, I don’t believe in the “no new friends” mindset. I think it’s quite immature.) Nonetheless, followers or viewers see these friendships unfold on Facebook or Instagram and desire it too. As a result, they meet someone new and start forcing their way into that person’s life already labeling them as their best friend. While meeting new people is exciting, it must be approached with some sort of wisdom. Why? Ever hear of a friend-recycler? You know…the type of person who’s always cycling through friends. There’s always a new BFF every other week or so. These types of people tend to thrive on updating their friend statuses to give off this impression that they are popular or have a large circle of friends. Consequently, they hastily give labels to people they’ve just met. Soon enough they find themselves in situations that could have easily been avoided or handle differently had they taken the time to know the person they were dealing with. The red flags were overlooked, that little nudge in their heart was dismissed, their intuition alarm sounded off. Yet it was ignored because their goal to imitate these fake friendships was more important than the reality of acknowledging that there’s a void needing to be filled in their life. Now they are in a situation of being rejected, abandoned, and worse off betrayed. The focus was on the exterior while the interior was completely ignored. That person they’ve been claiming as a friend too soon turned out to be trifling. Now there’s hurt. The hurt turns into mistrust. The mistrust causes walls to be built. The walls causes them to push away the wrong people that’s supposed to be in their lives to begin with. Just to be clear, I’m not implying that befriending someone too quickly may always result in a tragedy. Don’t be mistaken, that’s not always the case. Having a kindred connection with someone is totally different from thirsting for something so badly that you jump in head first. Ultimately, it does not mean that you shouldn’t meet new people or that you should be closed off to the idea of making new friends. Absolutely not! It’s about having wisdom and obtaining friendships the right way. I pose the same question as I did earlier. On what foundation are these relationships we are desiring so much standing on? God? You? A pretense, facade, or legitimacy? 

Goals! God desires us to be in relationships with others for purpose. God also desires for us to be in a relationship with Him. If we are to admire or emulate what true friendship should look like, it should be that of God’s. We should admire and uphold relationships that demonstrates genuineness and love. God has given us great examples of what our relationships should mimic. Depictions of Ruth & Naomi, David & Jonathan, Elijah & Elisha, and of course Jesus, Peter, James and John’s relationships are all great examples of true friendships. As different as they all were individually, they all managed to love each other unconditionally, challenge one another, understand and accept each other as they are. With that being said, I challenge you to evaluate the relationships you are exalting or desiring to have. Who are the people you want to be like? If the dating relationships, marriages, or friendships of others are goals for you, be sure to thoroughly examine them. If it doesn’t mirror a type of relationship that can flourish successfully, then you may want to reconsider your goals.

-BlessedandChic