Where my girls at!?! Ladies, ladies, this one’s for you! Yes you! I’ve been meaning to write about this topic for a while now. Personally, I think it’s really needed, especially in the times we live in today. There are so many expectations, but no reality. Unfortunately, in this age and time, it’s pretty much difficult to decipher what’s reality and what’s not. Our eyes have been trained to feed our souls with unrealistic expectations and ideas. Although this is such a meaty topic… and believe me, I’d love to dive a little deeper into this, but for now I’ll just set my focus on a more specific topic. The topic of singlehood, dating, and waiting! Why? Well, how do I put this…I was once a single before I married and I know a thing or two about being single and waiting for the right man.
Tick, tock. Alas, that waiting word again…that dreadful word that most single women hate to hear about. “WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! That’s all I heard was wait!” Once upon a time that was my attitude. I couldn’t stand that word. Even worse, I hated it more when it came from someone that was married. When married folks would advise me on waiting for Mr. Right or tell me that I needed to enjoy my single-hood, I would get infuriated. I mean, in all fairness they were right but that’s not what I wanted to hear at the time. And of course my response was always the same, “you have no idea what it’s like, you don’t understand”. Obviously that’s unseemingly false. In fact, marrieds do know what it’s like to wait. After all, they were all once single people before they married. It’s not like they were born already married to someone..duh! At that time in my life I had tunneled vision. I was so set on my expectations of wanting to be in a relationship and marrying that I didn’t take the time to seek out the reality of where I was as a person. My reality and expectations weren’t aligned at all. Who I was and what needed to be worked out within me for my growth and betterment wasn’t a priority because I was so focused on what I wanted at the time, and what I wanted was marriage. I didn’t even recognize that I was not in a healthy state. I was so determined to meet my own expectations, I didn’t take the time out to evaluate me. In hindsight, I was no where near ready for a committed relationship at that time. You know what? Many of you aren’t ready for a committed relationship either. Now, it’s come full circle as I share the very things told to me to other women that are anxious about being in a relationship. As expected, the responses are usually the same. I’m always told that I don’t understand or being too harsh and even judgmental. But hey, what can I say? I completely understand the responses. Often times, these types of reactions come from a place where maturation and growth are lacking. Here’s the reality, most of you aren’t ready for a committed relationship. For many of you, relationships are void fillers and believe me no relationship can fix that, only God can.
I’d like to encourage you to truly wait. Waiting isn’t a form of punishment.Waiting isn’t a death sentence! It is simply knowing that the right person at the right time WILL find you. Most of the time, love strikes you when you least expect it. Are you a little impatient? Your lack of patience can land you a great deal of wasted precious time by giving it to someone that didn’t even deserve you. If you’re not careful, you can prematurely enter a relationships that wasn’t meant to be. Do you feel left out? I know that feeling. However, don’t get caught up in all types of trends. Unfortunately, trying to keep up with everyone else tends to be a trend as well. It seems like everyone around you are either in a relationship or engaged and you feel left out. These feelings are natural but on the contrary can be unhealthy. Whether you’re dating or not, that waiting period is so crucial. Let’s face it, we all hate to wait. We’re so convoluted as people and have become a microwave type of generation. Most of us have that Veruca Salt syndrome, “I want it now”! and wanting things NOW tends to come with grave consequences. Be encouraged and wait! Wait for God’s best for you! I was once in your shoes when I finally decided to focus on me, and my husband showed up when I least expected him too. To all my sisters in the waiting period, examine your hearts, your life, and where you are. Be sure your your expectations and reality aren’t out of whack. Stay strong!
