CRABS IN A BARREL

The first time…

I was about 5 or 6 years old roaming through the supermarket with my mom and like any bored kid, I roamed off a little, but not too far, just enough to keep myself in my mother’s peripheral. Shortly, I found myself in the seafood section of the store staring inside a barrel filled with blue crabs. As I observed as any curious kid would, something caught my attention immediately. I noticed one particular crab fighting with all its might to get out the barrel, and boy did it try to and almost succeeded. Interesting enough, as this crab continued to make close attempts to get out of the barrel, the other crabs underneath it was pulling and pinching at it, and each time that little brave crab would eventually end up falling back down into the barrel, clawing at the other crabs in an attempt of freeing itself. Although I couldn’t fully articulate what I was seeing, even as a child I understood what was happening. This was my first time observing the crab-in-a-barrel metaphor.

According to Urban Dictionary, the crab-in-a-barrel mentality is defined as “A syndrome where a group of people, like situated people, hurt those in the community to get ahead.” Another definition, which is more like metaphor in my opinion, is the mindset that “If I can’t have it, you can’t have it”, and lastly, the mentality that some individuals are completely okay with you “doing you” as long as you don’t surpass them, or they don’t feel threatened by you, or feel some sense of insecurity by your successes and achievements. A hard thing to grasp, because many times, it’s the people seemingly close to you that tend to emulate these types of behaviors. As history has shown us, it is a mentality that derives from jealousy and insecurity, which unfortunately has destroyed relationships, friendships, communities, and nations as a whole.

Truth be told, I’ve experienced that before and still do at times as a blogger. It’s a truly sad thing! While we can’t control how people treat us to some degree, we can control how we respond to HOW those individuals will attempt to pull at you or try to block your pathways.

Here are some takeaways when you’re faced with the “crab-in-a-barrel” type of personality.

1. Stop sharing ALL of your ideas with people, especially with individuals that can never congratulate or encourage you when you’re moving up and doing amazing things in your life. The reality is, some people are really threatened by you and can’t handle seeing you make it, so sharing your ideas will only trigger their negative insecure opinions or ill-advised thoughts towards you.
2. Don’t allow past hurts from other crabs to discourage you. You are talented, gifted, and there’s no power on this planet or entire universe that can stop what you have inside of you. People see that and they are either drawn to it, or will hate, but don’t worry, they will not succeed. You are strong!
3. Surround yourself with people who are mature, secure in their own rights, and just plain out supportive. There’s room for everyone to win, and if you’re surrounded by people who can grasp and understand that, then you’re own your way.
4. Pray! Always ask God to guide you and give you that intuition or discernment to know who’s for you and who’s not.
5. Check yourself! Are YOU a crab-in-the-barrel trying to pull someone else down? It’s so easy for us to point out when others are mistreating us, but, do we project those same negative behaviors unto others? If so, I’d suggest you do a heart check and stop the madness.

We do live in a world with imperfect people who are constantly pulling at you as you try to make it out. It will be hard. It will be frustrating. It can be family. It can even be your friends, however rest assure and know that, although these people do exist, I’m so confident that we…you…all of us will be okay and will make it!

Even as a little girl back then, I’ve made my way back to that store plenty of times and made sure to stop and visit my blue-crab friends, and trust me when I say this, I have witnessed a brave crab eventually make it out the barrel and crawl their way into freedom. It is possible!

OUTFIT DETAILS:

Snake Print Dress: Zara, Cap-toe Suede Boots: Mango, Bomber Sheer Jacket: Zara, Bag: Chanel, Shades: Thrift from Buffalo Exchange

PHOTOGRAPHY: Marc B | Akomi Photos